Motherhood Blues

Coaching
Motherhood Blues
By Taymour Qabazard - A qualified London based Executive and Personal coach who is also a Master-Practitioner of NLP and a Diagnostic Thought Field Therapist. Speaker and workshop leader, monthly columnist for Enigma International Magazine.
Mar 1, 2007, 21:34

One of the most life changing experiences that any woman goes through is childbirth and motherhood. It’s almost a divine reminder than there is an awesome natural power at work. It’s also a time for celebration and happiness as everyone cherishes the new family member and drains the battery on their digital cameras. It’s a special time that brings the family (extended or otherwise) together and strengthens the emotional bonds between them as they plan the months ahead with excitement and bliss. But frankly speaking, is it all bliss and laughs?

Unfortunately the answer is often no. There is a horrible truth that we seem to neglect at such a life altering time. Changes that we may or may not be aware of are happening on many levels. The arrival of this promising new life brings with it new plans, new responsibilities, essential shifts in the customary way of life, not to mention the biggest shift of all – the mother’s hormone equilibrium which can result in what is commonly known as Post Natal Depression (PND). PND has been around as long as we can remember it, and we used to arrogantly brush it under the carpet as though it was non-existent - a myth. Only recently, thanks to more awareness by celebrities such as Brooke Shields, articles, TV interviews, reality shows, the web and woman’s journals, have we come to acknowledge its dark presence. Bluntly speaking, depression is absolutely terrible. For the sufferer everything becomes negative, loved ones intolerable, they want to be alone, cry, scream, break things, self harm, withdraw and their minds start to harbour thoughts of detachment and hate. Mothers with PND can even look at their child and feel absolutely nothing towards them. In some rare cases, there have been mothers who harm their newborn and even murder them. Since I now have your attention, it’s only but fair to say that PND is a very serious condition that must be addressed as soon as any of the symptoms arise.

In a simplified nutshell, PND stems from a sudden shift in the hormone levels that affect the chemical balance of the brain. When a woman is pregnant, her body adjusts in many ways to accommodate the new life she is nurturing inside her. After birth there’s a quick and abrupt shift in the body’s condition, and the hormonal equilibrium falls out of balance. The mother then gets a drop in her Serotonin, Dopamine and Endorphin levels and a rise in her Cortisol which research has shown can result in depression. In times past, “doctors” would have diagnosed madness, and dismissed it as a figment of her imagination. Thankfully, attitudes have changed these days and options are many. Though I’m personally not a fan of anti-depressants, in the right situations they are tremendously helpful. PND is a temporary phase that with the proper care and steps can be overcome. What anti-depressants do is alter the brain chemistry to correct the imbalances caused by pregnancy and childbirth.

The following are some of the ways to spot Post Natal Depression:

1) Listen and don’t just hear what the mother says about how she feels. If she’s abnormally sleepy and tired all the time, it could be a sign of PND.

2) If the mother seems withdrawn from everyone – especially her loved ones.

3) If she doesn’t demonstrate much affection or a strong bond with her newborn.

4) Sudden fluctuations in her overall mood and state.

5) Crying at the slightest discomfort and being overly emotional.

These are just a few of the many signs that exist, and the more we’re aware, the better we can truly help and correct this delicate period.

It’s important that a physician, clinical therapist or psychiatrist is contacted right away to look at the options available. In some cases, if the family surrounds her and showers her with love and laughter, this phase can be overcome with more ease. Laughter is crucial as it contributes to the production of serotonin. Gentle exercise is another important factor to consider, predominantly because it helps the production of endorphins, one of the “happy hormones”. Exercise needn’t be hard work. As soon as the new mother feels able, she could take a gentle stroll with her newborn, which would also be a good opportunity to show off the fruits of her “labour”!

Sadly, the recent rise in PND has been linked to our post modern lives of speed, stress and diminishing family unity and closeness. The excitement and love must not be ceased after 10 days of childbirth, but carried on in shifts for a good six months, if not longer. The busier the house and more affection around, the easier it will be for the mother to adjust. Childbirth and motherhood is a very delicate time that must be shared and divided on all the loved ones and not just the mother. PND can be beaten and defeated, so do keep an open mind to observe any danger signs and act right away.

Until Next Time…..Live, Don’t Just Exist.

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