NLP
Frame It Well.
By By Taymour Qabazard --- A qualified London based Executive and Personal coach who is also a Master-Practitioner of NLP and a Diagnostic Thought Field Therapist. Speaker, workshop leader and monthly columnist for Enigma International Magazine © 2006
Nov 26, 2006, 17:54

”A problem well stated is a problem half solved”. Charles Kettering. 

One of the quickest and most powerful ways to change a negative pattern of thinking is to change its context in such a way that it becomes comical or even positive.  This NLP concept is called Re-Framing.  In other words, change the frame and the picture will also change.  We hear this all the time in everyday conversation – “Look at the bright side….” Or “Well, at least you don’t have to…..”  and “…I know, just bare in mind that it could have been worse.”   

The best way I can explain this is to ask you to think of a situation or something that discomforts you slightly.  Now, take a few moments and challenge yourself gently to focus on another facet of the situation.  A facet that may direct your mind in new avenues that can change your state for the better.  A great reminder is the old debate whether the glass is half full or half empty.

I recently had a Client who absolutely and utterly despised her son-in-law. She feels that he is a square peg in the round hole that is her small and close knit family.  She passionately expressed her anger at the fact that whenever he comes over for a visit, he eats the meal he is cooked and then he plants himself into her (my Client’s) favourite chair and naps.  She then went on and on at her dismay and anxiety about the upcoming Christmas dinner.  She was so focused and tense that I immediately resorted to re-framing to change her hard wired thinking. 

I smiled and replied: “…..he may sit in your favourite chair and doze off, but at least you don’t have to talk to him which I’m sure is a nice thought for you.  Better still, you can hang out with your daughter and your grandchildren by the fire place and have some laughs and have them all to yourself without him interrupting.”  Not only did her overall state improve, but she started giggling from the belly and appreciated my point. 

It’s very easy to get tangled up into a one way stream of thinking that can ruin your day and prevent you from taking notice of the positive angles, however small, that the situation presents.  I can go on and turn this article into an academic and frankly boring explanation, but I’d rather not.  Let me finish off with some examples that can help you appreciate what re-framing can do.

1)    “I got laid off from work last week.”

“Well, at least you can add the experience to your CV which can make it easier getting a better job.”

2)    “Winter’s here and it’s getting cold again”.

“Yeah, it gives us a great change to dress up and look smarter.”

3)    “My boss has given me so much work to do this week…”

“Well, he must have a lot of faith in you.”

Thought is energy, and it’s best to change your negative thoughts right away before they turn into words and then actions.  You may begin to realise that by re-framing some thoughts in the coming days, you can change your outlook and feel better. 

“Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.” 

 Until Next Time, Live…..Don’t Just Exist!

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